Fear, Stress or Anxiety?

A few days ago, I was riding in a car on the interstate. It was around rush hour, and traffic was particularly bad. Other cars and trucks were weaving in and out of lanes, tailgating, and speeding. New lanes were added all the time and the general flow of traffic was about 80 mph. I got nervous. My palms started sweating, my heart was racing, I was tense and on the verge of tears. Was I having an anxiety attack? No. Anytime you have 3000 ton trucks coming at you at 80 mph you are perfectly entitled to feel scared. I experienced fear, which is not the same thing as anxiety.

There are many different definitions of anxiety and panic attacks floating around, some with slight variations. Most define anxiety and panic attacks as feelings of fear, dread or tension without there being a threat or clear justification as to why you are feeling these things. As a psychologist once explained it to me, “Anxiety is irrational fear”.

It is important to keep this in mind, and not jump to the conclusion that you are having anxiety every time you feel fearful, stressed or scared

Let me give you another example: say you have a couple that are going through a difficult time in their relationship. They usually get along fine, but for the last few days they have been arguing a lot and the home environment is hostile and tense. What if someone in this situation is experiencing stomach pain, sleep difficulties and feelings of nervousness before they go home? Would you consider this person to have anxiety? I wouldn’t.

There’s no denying that this person might be feeling anxious, but that does not mean he or she has an anxiety problem. I would say this person is showing temporary physical and emotional symptoms of stress relating to a specific situation. Unlike anxiety, stress is defined as a physical and/or emotional reaction to something that goes on in your environment; it’s not irrational, it’s real. If you are experiencing stress because of your environment, whether it’s your relationship, work, children or anything else, it does not necessarily mean you have anxiety. In most situations like these, changing your environment, your current situation, will help you get rid of the stress and the anxiousness.

Let me give you an extreme example to make my point: you are walking down the street, minding your own business, when someone pulls a gun on you and tells you to give up your wallet. I am pretty sure you’ll be experiencing all the common symptoms of anxiety in this situation; your heart is pounding, you’re sweating, feeling dizzy, stomach queasy etc. So you’re having a panic attack, right? Of course not! We can all clearly understand that what you’re feeling in this situation is real, rational fear.

Ok, so I’ve pointed out the difference between fear and stress vs. anxiety, but why is this important? This is important because it influences what you think and how you feel. If you know you are experiencing stress or fear, no matter how uncomfortable the situation might be, you know you are reacting to an outside situation. If someone pulls a gun on you, there is no way you are going to feel bad about or blame yourself for feeling scared.

One common problem for people who have anxiety issues is that they tend to blame themselves and feel bad about the situation. But the worse you feel about yourself and the situation, the worse your issue will get.

It is important to see separate incidents as just that; separate. Putting the anxiety label on your feelings will give power to them and you can easily start seeing yourself as someone with a “problem”. Labels don’t benefit you, and neither does feeling that you are sick or have a “problem”. I’m not saying anxiety is not a real and serious issue; I know it is because I struggled with it for years. I also know that many of the situations where I thought I had anxiety, I was actually just plain scared or reacting to stress.

Don’t accept labels others put on you, and don’t put them on yourself. Even if you have panic attacks on a regular basis, you are better off seeing them as separate incidents than seeing yourself as someone with a "disorder."

by Elisabeth Ramsberg Larsen for www.easycalm.com